And Act of God at the Ahmanson

Gordon and I had soup and a glass of wine at Kendall’s before going to the Ahmanson last night. I was shocked; the restaurant part of Kendall’s was half-full but the bar was packed–including and especially the two seats at the end that I consider mine. And hockey was on the TV. Ick. We had to sit in Siberia but the soup was good and the bread was fresh. Gordon had to listen to me yak but he bore up well. Two seats finally opened up near the TV so Chris (bartender) changed the channel and we played Jeopardy. I was cheering for Hannah representing Augustana (announcer originally said Augustana was in Houston, Texas. Hollywood!) and she lost by a buck. It was a good game. I impressed the two ladies sitting next to us. They thought I was a genius. “How do you know that!? You’re so smart!” they kept exclaiming. Gordon and I had to smile. They obviously hadn’t seen my last-place finish when I actually played for real. It’s a tough game. We finished our drinks and went upstairs to the Ahmunson.

An Act of God is a ninety-minute one-act starring Sean Hayes. The play envisions God as a gay, Liberal, white guy who hates Ted Cruz, Sarah Palen (sp?), and Donald Trump. This is an Old Testament god of hate for all things Republican. But if you can get past the the politics it’s a funny play and Hayes does a wonderful job. At my age I was impressed that he could remember all that dialogue. And he makes it his own. Two supporting actors played archangels. The Michael character takes “questions” (planted) from the audience and “God” responds. It reminded of a Dame Edna show, except Dame Edna skewers everybody, not just Republicans . “God” presents his new Ten Commandments and the playwright riffs on why God permits suffering and other existential questions. “God” claims that originally he made Adam and Steve (wink, wink) but the serpent taught them to be ashamed of their choices so as punishment God turned Steve into a woman, they had kids, and live in the hell of suburbia. It’s one of those shows. All things gay and/or Liberal are great; all things Republican or female…not so much. “God” does pat Lesbians on the head; they’re better than straight women apparently but not by much. Interestingly, I noted that normally the audience explodes in applause when Repubs are dissed. Last night, only about a quarter of the audience clapped. The rest of us just smiled. As I said, it’s funny.  I laughed but I don’t need to see it again.  I read the tepid reviews when Jim Parsons played the role on Broadway. I’m glad I saw Hayes do it. Personally, I think he’s a better actor. As I said, Sean Hayes was great.

One last problem: the fat woman who sat behind me eating potato chips through a show was there again. I guess she took my ‘fat pig’ comment to heart because she switched to gummy bears. Which still crinkle but it’s not as bad as the potato chips. Where do these awful ill-mannered people come from? I’m going to ask management if they have any suggestions on how to handle this. They always announce that “if you have candy, unwrap it NOW”. I guess fatso is deaf. Unfortunately the people around her are not.  Maybe I’ll just cancel my series. That’s a lot of money to spend on not being able to hear the show. Of course, last night all I missed were insults….I guess there’s no totally good or bad thing. And pee before the show. It’s a long ninety minutes.

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About Barbara Schnell

I've dedicated my life to full-time employment avoidance. I've been an actress, renovated a 1921 California Bungalow, set a cash-winning record on $25,000 Pyramid, and came in last on Jeopardy. I live in Los Angeles with my patient husband and two cats.
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